Longing

The sunsets early in this part of the world.
I long for those long summer days
Where the sun seems to never set

But alas I am in perpetual winter
Where it is night by 6PM.

I miss my midnight picnics in the park
By the lake getting drunk on wine
And cheese as the moon ripples over the water

I miss my stars and moon
I feel lost among this alien sea of constellations
And moon less sky.

I miss being kissed
I missed being held
And holding hands.

I miss food
Getting gelato at 2am
Gorging myself on duck and oysters
Bubble tea and Vietnamese sandwiches
Procuitto covered grapes
And rare meat.

I hate rice.

I miss going places alone
And not feeling alienated for being on my own
Because I am a woman.

I miss dating

I miss you.

I long for you
Am I meant to be alone...

I am actually proud of myself.
Wondering around on my own
Through foreign lands
Pushing myself to try new things.

Trying to figure out who I am
Trying to figure out my life path
Do I need a life path?
What do I want out of this life?
As a child I never knew what to say
when people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grow up
I did not know
I still do not know

I guess I just have to keep on moving

But I enjoy standing still